Friday, July 20, 2012

Censored

A little rodent devil has been taunting my golden retriever mix for a while now. As soon as Chance spies him through the window, I open the back door very quietly, whispering "Get him Chance". Chance usually gets halfway to the feeders when Mr. Squirrel senses danger and hightails it up the nearest tree where Chance stands below trying to order him down with his barks. I don't think this is a battle Chance will ever win, but I have to let him try. Our pets have so little excitement in their lives, I can at least give him the thrill of the chase.

This photo shoot started off so innocently, with Mr. Squirrel having a leisurely drink. 


However, once I loaded the shots on the computer, I was startled at his...er...appendage...which was quite noticeable.

I tried different ways to hide the offensive organ, including a pair of pantaloons...


The trusty mosaic blur they use on TV...


Even a bright red daisy. This particular shot was a doozy for my family-friendly site, lemme tell ya! Whoa Nellie! Right through the fence slats!


My trusty fleur-de-lis worked, too...


This is the one shot I didn't have to modify, but I'm sure he paid a price for his miscalculated maneuver. Ouch!

BMW update: I won't bore you with the details but it's not the transmission; however the repairs will cost $2200. Ouch. I'd hate to think if it WAS the transmission. I'm thankful I have the money to fix it, but I think after this I will be looking to trade it in for a Honda or Acura, praying I break even. This car is just too high dollar for my comfort zone.

52 comments:

heyBJK said...

LMAO! I got nothing! (But I'm almost crying from laughter!)

TexWisGirl said...

too dang funny, gail! :)

good luck w/ the bmw! yikes!

Danielle said...

Thanks for the giggles!! My sides hurt!!!!

Tammy@Simple Southern Happiness said...

OH! thank you for this post, its a scream! LOVE IT!

OUCH on the car, I know the feeling well. Am looking at the Toyota Rav4.

hootnonny said...

Ha! Maybe it's a Louisiana thing...all the males there seem to be "packin!" Now, where did I read that...ummmm!

So sorry about the car. Just think of the lens you could buy w/that amount!

Linda said...

That last one is priceless!

bailey-road.com said...

Hilarious!

justine said...

you do make me laugh, these are great. My black labrador managed to catch a squirrel in the park today which wasn't good, luckily it managed to escape the jaws. Thanks for your comment on my blog, I think Nancy Mitford is very English and quirky to an American so maybe that's why you didn't enjoy it. Have you read the art of fielding? now that's a good read.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Oh my gosh Gail, lots of times I smile, but honestly I don't really laugh out loud very often when I'm all by myself in the house. But this post made me roar. You are just too funny.....

Kathy said...

My goodness! I've never seen a squirrel _______. Now I'll be looking every time our little demon gets in my mom's feeders! You've just turned us all into squirrel voyeurs!

Evelyn S. said...

You are just too funny, Gail!!!

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

You are too funny Gail!!
Every morning before getting his coffee, my Dad would feed the squirrels on our deck by placing peanuts in the shell along the banaster. One squirrel he called Nuts, would be sitting at the sliding glass door waiting for dad to come out to feed him (and the others) breakfast. Then Dad would sit at the table w/ his coffee and watch the squirrels eat. Dad wanted to call Nuts- Balls since he was so large - but Mom wouldn't let him. The poor squirrel drug "them" around and we always wondered how he didn't keep from getting a splinter!
OUCH about the car!!

rainfield61 said...

You have become the censor board.

Tricia Hays said...

LOVE the pantaloons... you're a riot, Gail, you crack me up!!! =)

cat @ sea.sky.stone. said...

pantaloons *snortlaugh*

Goku shrestha said...

hahaha ! the last pic is funny and cute at the same time

Tricia said...

Oh my goodness, how funny! So sorry about your car. I have an Acura and love it. They can be spendy to fix though too. Last year I had a headlight go out and luckily it was under warranty or it would've cost $300 to have it replaced!

Rosemary Aubut said...

Hysterical Gail! Never really thought much about squirrels and there organs!!! But I'll be on the look out from now on! great series of photos!

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh, Girl...you are cracking me up!!! The pantaloons and the fragile sign put me over the top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too funny...I'm still trying to catch my breath. Nice way to keep it G-rated. ;)

Dianne said...

have you looked into any of those car repair insurance programs?
I get mail about them a lot but I have extended contract so I toss them

I have never seen a squirrel weiner, and here I thought I'd seen it all
love your shots

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

LOL!!

Oh no, that's a lot of money on your car :-(

Butterbean Row said...

You are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!

♥charlotte

Linda R said...

Oh my gosh. Your photos have me laughing this morning. Well done my friend. So sorry to hear about your car..

Hugs~

Starla said...

Your photos were the perfect way to start the day (giggles and smiles)
Before kids I had a small BMW...yeah, I remember that just getting the oil changed was expensive! Now, my and my old trustworth Ford explorer get to haul kids, sport equipment and literally a truck full of groceries around!

tinajo said...

Haha - cracked me up! :-D

Kerry said...

He's a squirrel. He should be better at hiding his nuts. You shouldn't have had to worry about this!

Madge Bloom said...

Wonder if he got into someone's viagra... lol! Love your comical censoring... you made me smile!

Madge Bloom said...

PS - I tried to subscribe to your blog, but see that your rss feed is down (mine has been down off and on all day from Feedburner)... I'll try again later...

Rosie Grey said...

I'm still laughing! Your post is so hilarious!!! Great shots, too! Have a wonderful weekend, Gail!

Laura Delegal - Leroy Photography said...

LOL! No, ROFLOL! Just too cute. So sorry about the transmission. :(

Hilary said...

Ha! Now that's hilarious. He looks like a young one. I know, from the squirrels that Frank's sister has rehabilitated, that you can tell their gender practically from birth. I suppose they kind of grow into things. Too cute, Gail.. and so creative.

Deanna said...

Oh Gail, what is it about your animals down there that seem to pack "them" too large for your family friendly site. But you are a funny, funny girl with your stories and your shots. Keeps me smiling & laughing. Oh I am sorry that your repair is a little expensive (I mean alot expensive). Might want to think about that Honda.

Lisa Gordon said...

Gail, this is just waaaaaay too funny!
Thank you for the smiles.

Crack You Whip said...

I will never be able to look another squirrel in the face again!

I am ready to trade my BMW in. My tires are almost $600 each and they pop like firecrackers! They are nice, but too costly to maintain.

Pieces of Sunshine said...

Love your sense of humour Gail. Sounds like a wise move regarding your car, just take some good memory shots before you trade....

ladyfi said...

Oh, how sweet! Lovely post.

Cynthia Schelzig said...

Thanks for the laugh,,what a cute squirrel.... and oh dear...the cost of driving around in that fine German engineeering....if it makes you feel any better,,,well, which I am sure it won´t but I had to say that,,,it
isn´t any cheaper repairing the things over here either:)

Nancy Claeys said...

Too funny! Love the frilly underwear. xo

Thank you for sharing at YSB this week.

Amy Burzese said...

So funny! What a little show off.

Deb Crecelius said...

Hilarious!
Good edits :)

She Who Carries Camera said...

First of all....this little guy must be packin' quite some baggage there! Secondly, our Miles does the exact same thing. When he spots an intruder in our backyard through the window he starts going crazy until we let him out, then he shoots up to warp speed (while letting out these high pitched screeches), pebbles flying all over the place as he "skims" the pebble walkway....birds, squirrels, chipmunks (anything that is currently in the backyard) scatter immediately. We laugh hysterically every time! One day I'll catch it on video and share!

Tamara (Fishy Face Studios) said...

lol! too funny!

jan@twoscoopz said...

OMG that was hysterical!!!
The pantaloons totally did me in :D

Stewart M said...

Is this what people mean when they say they alter the exposure in Photoshop?

!


Stewart M - Australia

Phil said...

Wonderful laugh for my Monday morning Gail. Now I'll be looking differently at each squirrel I see.

missing moments said...

Too funny! Love the dialogue and pics. I hear ya about the BMW .. have one too and seems to cost more each year!

She Writes Here Now said...

There has to a place you can enter this! Here from Hilary's POTW.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Too, too funny... Congratulations on your POTW!

Barbara said...

Hilarious!! Definitely deserves the POTW! I have the same problem with some of my shots of squirrels and my dogs - I'll probably be asking you how to do this pretty soon! P.S. I love my Huyndai - rated most reliable, at least in 2010 when I bought mine.

Out on the prairie said...

fun read today, congrats on your POTW

Joanna Jenkins said...

Thanks! I needed a good laugh.
Stopping by from Hilary's. Congratulations on your POTW.

Barb said...

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at post! :) hilarious! and I'm going to put it on my fb page!