The other night I was watching one of the early Seinfeld episodes where Jerry would do a stand up bit first. This one hit me like a ton of bricks:
You know, I tell ya, I gotta say that I'm enjoying adulthood. For a lot of reasons. And, I'll tell you reason number one: as an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay? I have three cookies or four cookies, or eleven cookies if I want. Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. Just ruin it. And then, I call my mother up right after to tell her that I did it. "Hello, Mom? yeah, I just ruined my entire appetite...cookies." So what if you ruin it. See, because as an adult, we understand even if you ruin an appetite, there's another appetite coming right behind it. There's no danger in running out of appetites. I've got millions of them, I'll ruin them whenever I want!
The large, bolded part got me thinking. Why do I binge eat? Why do I insist on gorging as though it's my last meal? I'm going to have another appetite and another opportunity to eat several hours later. Unless I get hit by a truck or my pie hole disappears, I'm going to eat again. I'd really like to understand the psychology behind overeating.
Today, my friend and I ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant, Mi Cocina*. They have the BEST grilled chicken with sour cream sauce. It's a pretty good sized breast, grilled and smoked. Accompanying that is a huge dollop of guacamole, rice, and pico de gallo. Oh, and the chips and hot sauce sit there on the table ganging up on us, taunting us to eat even more.
All of this food is really too much for me to consume all in one sitting. If I had any self control, I would eat half and take the other half home. But I can't stop until I have eaten every last grain of rice on my plate. Afterwards, I'm miserable.
Yes, I'm sitting here so uncomfortable that I want to get rid of what I just ate. I just spent $21 for lunch and all I can think about is regurgitation. I immediately came here to my blog, miserably typing, seeking answers as to why I would eat to the point of being uncomfortable. Why? Anyone have any suggestions?
*I tried to take my own photo, but the restaurant was too dark. This one is courtesy of Tengo Hambre NYC.