|My patio thermometer|
"We have to move!"
"I can't take another summer here!"
"This is my last summer in this godforsaken place! I mean it this time!" (Stated for the last 26 summers.)
"I don't know how much longer I can take this!"
Whenever it's this hot I start thinking a lot about hell, and how I hope and pray that I don't end up there. Texas is as close to Hell as I care to experience. Sometimes I wonder why God didn't threaten humanity with freezing temperatures or an eternity of snow. For whatever reason, He chose heat, and for me, it is a threat that works. Unless Hades has air conditioning, which I highly doubt, that is going to be one miserable existence. I want no part of that. Spending eternity in a reasonably cool environment is all I ask. Please and Amen.
Here are some of my favorite "It's hot/hotter than" quotes:
It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of Hades.
It's hotter than Paris Hilton's underwear.
It's hot enough to cure tobacco.
It's hotter than seven hells.
It's hotter than a whore in church without her panties on.
It's hotter than a $2 pistol.
Do you have any favorite heat-related sayings or jokes to help me through this miserable time?