For Leontien

These Agapanthus are for beloved blogging buddy, Leontien Vandelaar, who is battling cancer. The name Agapanthus is derived from the greek 'agape' which means 'love' and 'anthos' meaning 'flower'. They are quite beautiful and showy, making a dramatic, yet graceful appearance, kind of like Leontien herself. :) Sending many good thoughts, prayers and wishes for good health to return to you, Leontien!

A big thanks to Buttons, TexWisGirl, and A Rural Journal for coordinating and/or hosting this beautiful event!

Cajun country update

A quick update from my iPhone. My mom had a mini-stroke during my visit so I am detained in Baton Rouge for at least a couple extra days. Fortunately the episode did not leave any lasting effects. Please keep us in your prayers.

My Mom and the Wii

This was my mother around 1959 - the same year she married my father. Isn't she a beauty? When she married she had a 19" waist. There was no way I was wearing that dress for my wedding in 1980. Even if I wasn't 4 months "along", it wouldn't have happened. I was small-boned and petite, but not that petite.

Fast forward to 2010. After 20+ years of living with Parkinson's Disease (PD), my mother had pretty much given up hope on any kind of medication helping her. The first prescription they gave her, called Requip, made her hallucinate terribly and do some crazy things. Each day she imagined certain relatives and friends sitting in her living room. She'd ask them questions, but they wouldn't respond — just sit there like zombies. She'd call and ask me why my cousin was in her living room refusing to speak to her. The answer was, my cousin wasn't there. Although she was aware of the possible side effects, it was still unnerving.

Requip also caused her to microwave a couple of TV remote controls. Another day she spread peanut butter on all the burners of her stove and turned on the heat. The burning smell of peanut butter snapped her back to reality. Then late one night she found herself wandering outside her apartment complex. She realized something had to be done. All these scary scenarios were worse than the PD.

Her doctor then prescribed Stalevo. It doesn't cause hallucinations, but it does make her nauseous. Not every day, but most days.

A couple of years ago we were hopeful when her neurology specialist convinced her to try a patch which would deliver the medication slowly, over the course of the day. She tolerated the patches very well, but after several months they were recalled by the manufacturer and she was forced to go back to Stalevo. Since she can't take a strong dosage, her mobility wasn't that great. She still stumbled and had trouble performing the simplest of tasks, like bathing and brushing her teeth. And then there were the bouts of nausea that would set her back for days at a time.

So when my mother saw a news piece on CNN about Parkinson's patients having more mobility after using the Wii, she told me about it. She sounded excited and hopeful. I hadn't heard that kind of excitement in her voice in a long time. It was right before Christmas and I had been agonizing over what to get her. I researched it online and found that studies did indeed suggest that the Wii could be extremely helpful for these patients. I was on board immediately. The Wii came just in time for Christmas, but there wasn't anyone available to help her set it up.

Finally, her sister, J, came over to set up her "Mii" last Sunday and show her how to use it. J called me that night and said how quickly my mom caught on to the game. She said my mom's face lit up and she looked like an 18 year old swinging the remote. Her favorite is the bowling game, and after only 6 days she is playing up to an hour at a time. She's been getting strikes and spares! She is moving around much better, getting compliments from people who haven't seen her in a while. They are astounded at the improvement in her gait and the lack of shaking in her hands.

I must give thanks to God for answered prayer. Many prayers have been lifted on her behalf and I'm convinced that His answer is the Wii. I would never have dreamed that my mother, at 71 years old, with PD, would be into video games. And that the games could help her. That is a true miracle.

Health Supplement Update

Eleven days ago I began a regimen of health supplements in an effort to get control over my body and hopefully FEEL BETTER. I also cut out all diet soft drinks after nearly 30 years of consuming them.

The decision to nix diet sodas caused a bit of a setback. Although I never felt that I was over-consuming, drinking about 1-2 cans a day, it was slowly dawning on me that maybe this stuff was causing some of my problems. The more I read about saccharin and other artificial sweeteners, the more concerned I became about their effects.

Let me tell you that these evil, manufactured sugars did not want to go quietly into the night. Last week I experienced migraines so fierce, I thought I would need hospitalization. Accompanying those debilitating headaches was nausea. I kept telling myself: "You're stronger than these chemicals! Don't let them beat you!"

It was full-on war.

So I persevered, continuing to take my Valvoline...er...flax oil, vitamins, herbal teas, and eat sensibly. Guess what? I've noticed the last few days I haven't been as hungry. I can actually be satisfied with less food. Before embarking on this journey, I thought I might really have a tapeworm because I was hungry and craving foods all the frickin' frackin' time. I would eat and eat and never be satisfied.

Not only is my appetite under control, my memory has improved. The cobwebs in my brain have been brushed away, leaving me with clearer thinking. Speaking of brushing, my hair has never looked better. My acid reflux has calmed down. My energy hasn't been at this level since...well, I don't really remember when I felt this energized. Seriously. I am BLOWN AWAY by these results.

I know the supplements are helping me too, so I don't want to take away their role in this, but I think the biggest culprit was the diet soft drinks! I found this article today on mudphudder's blog and it was quite an eye opener. All this time I thought I was saving myself precious calories when all I was doing was confusing my body into thinking it was getting something sweet when it wasn't. Apparently, the body will rebel when constantly getting mixed signals. Excerpt:

When people eat sweet foods, the sweet taste signals an impending high-calorie bolus to the body, which registers caloric fulfillment of energy needs and also induces metabolic changes for use of the incoming energy. With use of these low-calorie sweeteners, these natural responses are disrupted because the body can no longer trust a sweet taste to indicate a high-calorie intake. After a while, the body can no longer accurately gauge daily caloric intake, causing a rise in appetite while burning fewer calories.

My poor body must've stopped trusting me! I hope after 30 years of this abuse that it can find a way to forgive me. And heal.

Well Oiled Machine

This week I have devoted some of my free time to researching Hypothyroidism and Auto Immune diseases in order to get a handle on my health. I learned that prescription medication alone may not alleviate the symptoms - which in my case it certainly hasn't - and is, in all probability, only masking the root of the problem. The last several years I have not taken care of myself properly and now my body is letting me know by raging a full scale attack - ON ITSELF. My diet has been crap and virtually no exercise to speak of. I've got to do something.

So I decided to add herbal supplements to the mix. I'm starting out small so as not to overwhelm the ol' bod, but so far I am pleasantly surprised at the results. This is my new arsenal:

Let's start with flax oil. I have it sitting in the fridge next to the bottled water so that I will remember to take it. Not only does it look like something that should go in my car engine, it is how I imagine a tablespoon of Valvoline might taste. I'm supposed to ingest 1-3 tablespoons per day. Right now I can barely get one down. And my lips feel oily afterwards.

My next dose was the B-complex in liquid form. You have to put it under your tongue and leave it there for 30 seconds. They might as well have said 30 minutes. It's the longest 30 seconds you will ever endure. I'd almost rather walk over hot coals for 30 seconds, but that won't help my thyroid.

Then I made myself a steaming cup of Yerba Mate tea. Have you ever tasted dirt? Maybe as a kid? I played quite a bit in the dirt as a child and I think I remember this same taste in my mouth at the end of the day. But you know what? I drank it all because I'm finally wearing my big girl panties and realize that this is good for me.

Thankfully, the primrose oil came in gel caps. The other supplements I decided to nix in favor of an organic multi-vitamin made especially for women. This vitamin had many of the supplements I was going to purchase separately such as D, Selenium, and Calcium.

Last night after the tasty trio of flax, Yerba Mate, and B-complex, I felt good enough to take the dogs for a walk. And this morning, I ingested the same cocktail again, along with the multi-vitamin, and now I'm going to clean the bathrooms.

Except for my mouth tasting like it just had an oil change, I feel great! I am worried, however, that Double D will mistake me for his Honda.

My Raging War with Hashimoto

Last year I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Basically, my immune system developed paranoia, and thinks my thyroid is a foreign enemy, thereby attacking and destroying it.

There are two types of thyroid malfunctions: HYPOthyroidism and HYPERthyroidism. Of course I got the underperforming HYPOthyroidism which, among other things, has caused me to gain about 30 extra pounds. And I can't get rid of the extra weight - even with my medication. If I'm going to be cursed enough to get a disease, why couldn't it be the one that causes me to LOSE weight? I want hyperthyroidism, dadgummit! *pouts*

This butterfly shaped little gland wraps around the windpipe producing hormones that regulate just about every organ, tissue, and cell in the body. The pills I'm taking are supposed to mimic what my thyroid should be doing (I think), but if that's the case, why do I still feel so sluggish all the time? Why am I so forgetful? Why can't I lose this frickin' frackin' weight? It seems everything I eat is deposited permanently around my mid-section.

I'm trying to do my own research because, to a certain degree, I distrust doctors and prescription medicines. With so much information out there, maybe there is something else that can help me. One little click could change my life. So far, I've discovered that eating raw vegetables like broccoli, brussel sprouts, and cauliflower are bad and must be consumed in limited amounts if cooked. Soy is bad, but I already knew that. Iron supplements are also a no-no. Before taking any supplement, it must be determined if it will interfere with the medication. *sigh*

When I start reading all the dos and don'ts, I feel extremely overwhelmed. And with the memory loss, how am I supposed to retain all this? Wait, what was I saying?

To Breathe Again

I awoke Sunday morning to an ache beneath my left shoulder blade. Thinking I might have slept wrong, I tried to work out the muscle off and on during the day and slept on a heating pad that night.

Monday morning I woke up to even more pain. Bursitis? I wondered. I went to the drug store during my lunch hour to buy a heating pad and found one that can be wrapped around just about any body part with velcro. I returned to my desk, fastened the bright blue material around my shoulders, and plugged myself in looking like I was ready for take-off.

Breathing, coughing, laughing, and sneezing used to be an effort I undertook with very little notice. Except last week when my laughter produced a full blown fart as Double D and I watched Worst Week together. In 18 years of marriage I somehow managed to keep my flatulence contained until that TV show. Dangit! :)

Today is not any better. I miss taking those deep breaths to calm myself. I’m embarrassed to be at work acting like an invalid, incapable of the slightest movement. Reaching for a book off the shelf causes a Tourette-like outburst that I truly have no control over.

Sweet relief, please come soon!

My Nemesis

When we first purchased this torture device piece of equipment last year, I used it steadily for two weeks, hating every step. The slightest jog made me feel as if I would vomit and pass out. Watching Seinfeld DVDs and listening to my iPod did nothing to diminish that hatred. Even the ceiling fan and the built-in fan on the machine could not deliver me from the imaginary flames as I trudged along.

I have always detested exercise, except for the twelve years I played tennis. In 2001, when I could no longer play due to a skin condition, I became a lazy, food junkie, adding 5 pounds or more each year to my small frame. At 5’4” I should weigh 125 pounds, but two weeks ago at the doctor's office, to my horror, I nearly broke the scale. Even being nine months pregnant did not put this kind of weight on me. The next day I began eating healthier and I've already lost 7 pounds. I’m going in the right direction; I just need to add exercise to the equation.

Yesterday, I decided to push aside my intense aversion for the dusty black machine and get down to business. I reasoned that I would walk at a slow pace for at least 5 minutes. Simple enough, right? One would think so, but the thought of putting on a pair of tennis shoes seemed too big a chore. Even I thought this reaction was absurd. Nevertheless, I began to whine internally. ‘Craaaap. I don’t want to put on shoo-ooes!’ which was instantly followed by, ‘Good God, woman. Are you going to let a trivial task such as placing shoes on your feet stop you from getting healthy?!

After guilting myself into locating the !%#@!! tennis shoes, I was ready. Slip on and go – so easy, see?! It’ll be OH-KAY, I told myself. I walked into the newly painted room which housed the gigantic apparatus and saw that it wasn’t plugged in, AND it had an old comforter sitting on top of it. ‘Craaaap! I’ll have to bend down and retrieve the cord which is way underneath the machine and tangled up with the power strip. And where will I put the comforter? Lawdy, lawdy Miss Claudy. It’s hopeless’, I whined again.

I started to walk away; in fact I half turned to head toward the door when my brain started arguing with itself again. ‘Really, Gail, this is ridiculous. Just move the comforter to the floor, bend down and plug the thing in. It’s not that difficult.’ The other side of my brain quickly chimed in, ‘Oh, forget this [expletive]. It’s too much trouble. I give up'.

Seriously, I could not believe the exchange going on inside my head, as though there were two people taking up residence in that fuzzy, addled space known as my brain. One entity was acting in my best interest and the other clearly wasn’t. I finally succumbed to the more sensible voice and reached down to fling the comforter across the room, albeit angrily. After finagling with the cord/power strip and getting that untangled, there was no turning back. Power for the treadmill and more power to me. Victory!

Or was it?

After 2 minutes of walking on level 2 I began to think I couldn’t go another step. Pathetic, right? I kept going though, because the deal I struck was to walk for ONLY 5 minutes. Thirty seconds later I bravely bumped it up another level to slightly jogging. That lasted about 10 seconds and I was certain Double D would have to call an ambulance, but finally I was able to focus back on the #2 button for a more leisurely walk. Whew, okay, I can do this. Around the 3 minute mark, I thought I could try jogging again. WRONG! At 4 minutes I began cursing and feeling sick. Dismal, I know, but I pressed on. At 4:59 my finger was poised over the beautiful red STOP key. I did it!

They say it is supposed to get easier each day. I’ll let you know - if I live to tell the tale. Maybe Sparky will team up with me. Nah.

Being Sick Sucks

How do people with a terminal or serious illness do it? I have been sick for 5 days and I am seriously ready to perform some drastic action. I have no one but myself to blame since I brazenly took a No-Doz on an empty stomach last Friday. Yeah, I'm stupid. My punishment was three straight days of nausea and vomiting. To add insult to injury, yesterday I began sneezing nonstop. How sneezing crept into this wretched drama is a mystery. I guess it decided that if the other ailments were welcome, then it was, too.

On the 3rd day of sickness - Sunday - I learned that my aunt had emergency surgery for bleeding on the brain. She's in intensive care and somewhat communicative, though confused.

My aunt is only 6 years older than me because my grand-parents were fooling around in their mid-forties using the Rhythm Method. We found the pamphlet after going through my grandparents things when they died. Due to their shenanigans, J entered our lives, and shocked my grandparents back to life.

After raising 4 children through the 1940s and 1950s, here they were, middle-aged and facing the turbulent 60s. As an example, J brought them and me to a head shop on Chimes St. near LSU. They had no idea, but I knew we shouldn't be there because of the t-shirts with boobies painted on them and all the colorful pipes everywhere. By then, my grandparents were too old to argue.

Because we are so close in age, J has been more like a sister than an aunt to me over the years. God knew what He was doing since my real sister died when I was almost 6. J helped me get through that horrible time, like when I would hear a song on the radio that reminded me of the car accident and cry uncontrollably, J would call for my grandmother to come see about me. She definitely looked after me, yet when I annoyed her and her friends, I was told to bug off just like a big sister would.

After we became adults, had our own children and I moved away, we haven't been AS close as I would have liked. Since her 20s, J has been dealing with fibromyalgia, migraines, TMJ and a host of strange health problems. She asserts that my grandparent's genes were old and weak and they passed that on to her. About 15 years ago, fed up with all the pain, she attempted suicide with an overdose. Her husband found her on the bed with several crucifixes placed on her body.

Since that time, she has dealt with an incredibly wayward alcoholic daughter who also dabbled in the occult. This causes her and the rest of the family much heartache. She has another daughter who went through some rebelliousness, but nothing like the other daughter. We've also seen J go through a gambling addiction, several moves, marriage separation, and a bankruptcy.

My life hasn't been perfect, either. The blemishes left scars on me and my family. J never judged me for anything I did - at least not to my face. There were times I complained about her in exasperation because I wanted all the pain and suffering to stop, for her and for me, but I shouldn't have passed judgment. Especially now, seeing years of pain culminate into this horrific event she's going through.

Throughout all of this, J's husband has been there. He has not been perfect by any means, but he’s been there, just as he is now through this brain hemorrhage ordeal.

Today is J's birthday. I wish I could call her up as I had planned to wish her a fabulous day. I hope she recovers from this horrible thing so that I can tell her how much she means to me and that even though our lives didn't turn out the way we had planned, it's our life, it's special and it still has purpose.