Growing Pains

Will someone please sit down and have a cup of tea with me? I need to vent a little.

I'm in fleur de lis heaven here, y'all!

My mother can be summed up as a gracious, southern lady. Although we look similar, grace is not a trait that I inherited from her. Apparently, it skips a generation because my daughter has an abundance. Oh, I can be gracious on occasion, but most of the time I speak without thinking, usually saying what's on my mind. For a sensitive person like my mother, my bold pronouncements can hurt, even when I don't mean them to.

Yesterday was my seventh day living with her, and I suddenly became acutely aware of the cacophony of the TV. I'm the type of person that can put up with an aggravation for some time, then one day I'll decide that I've had enough and explode.

Having this contraption blaring most of the day and night has frayed my tangled mass of nerves. I'll settle in to sit in front of my computer at the dining room table to do a little work for my boss or catch up on emails, or photography editing, or your lovely blogs—just trying to reconnect with my normal. My "office" is about eight feet from my mother and her beloved television, and in addition to the aggravating sounds of The Price Is Right (sorry Drew Carey, you're awful at this gig), every other minute she'll ask what I'm doing or she'll remember something to tell me, and my concentration gets broken. Each time I stop what I'm doing and look directly at her so she knows I'm listening, answering politely.

Lather, rinse and repeat. Sigh.

Unable to uncork on my mother and at the same time begging God for just a morsel of that elusive grace, my solution yesterday was to mute the television when she went to the bathroom. On her return she asked why the sound was off. In a matter-of-fact way (possibly through gritted teeth), I explained that sometimes it feels nice to have quiet in the house. She replied that having the TV on all the time helped her feel less alone. (I hope she meant pre-me.) After my small act of rebellion, she kept the TV off the rest of the afternoon even though I told her she could turn it back on. When she finally resumed her favorite activity, the volume was kept insanely low, and throughout the evening she asked repeatedly if it was bothering me. 

At least I see where my sensitive nature comes from. Big sigh. 

So today I awoke with a new plan. When I got up she asked me how I slept and even though I listened to her snore and babble and even laugh in her sleep for most of the night, I replied that I slept GREAT! The rest of the day went much better, but when The Price Is Right came on she immediately pressed the power button. And I did not argue.

This was how the rest of the day was spent:

Louisiana State Capitol shot through the car window

Cathedral of St. Joseph as seen through last year's Mardi Gras beads :)

Clock tower of St. Joseph's

Anyone remember Huarache sandals from the 70s? I bought my first pair from this dilapidated shop. It was a cool, hip place in its heyday with the grooviest clothes. :)

After we returned from our little drive I heard all kinds of birds chirping as we emerged from the car. Armed with my camera, I went to investigate. The crunchy leaves were scaring them off, so I decided to check out this fallen tree instead.

As I got closer I noticed these clam-shaped mushrooms growing all over it

Too bad they absorb water so easily, otherwise they could serve as water bowls for the birds

Thank you for letting me vent today! I feel much better. :)

Let's Geaux!

My mother was having a lot of trouble getting around today so I helped her dress and bathe this morning. After that I looked online for some recipes to try, then made a quick dash to the grocery store. While dinner was simmering I went out and got these photos. Every few feet I breathed in the strongest scent of roses, yet when I looked around there wasn't a rose bush in sight! I came home and told my mom and she said the Blessed Mother must've been with me. I don't know about that, but it really was weird!

Azaleas are still in bloom!

ID help needed - anyone know what kind of bird this is? 
UPDATE: Eastern Phoebe
Thanks, TexWisGirl!!

Growing from a tree stump
Entered in The Creative Exchange

When I returned from my photography session, mama was eager to get ready for the LSU vs Bama game. She already had on her LSU shirt, so I found her LSU socks and the LSU slippers my daughter sent her for Christmas. She is convinced LSU is going to win the game because of these magic slippers. I'm going to have one depressed little lady on my hands if they don't win. :/

Back From Exile

It feels so good to be back and reading what you all have been up to! There has been so much to do getting ready for my move, celebrating Christmas and birthdays, savoring every minute of my daughter's visit from Portland, and ending my job of 23 years. Something had to give and unfortunately it was Google Reader.

After getting through all that, a tragedy greeted us the first day of 2012.

The phone rang at 4:30AM New Year's Day. Paralyzed with fear, my stomach flip-flopped and my mind raced. It was my stepdaughter's husband asking to speak to my husband in a grave voice. I handed the phone over and braced myself.

To make a very long story short, my youngest stepdaughter was involved in a fireworks explosion and lost her left eye. We are all devastated. It was a stupid, stupid thing that should never have happened. She is now recuperating at her mother's home and faces more surgeries and a prosthetic eye at some point. I'm so grateful that she is still here and that she didn't lose both eyes. There's so much more I want to say, but I'm still in shock over it and feeling a little overwhelmed with my own situation.

With six kids there is never a dull moment.

I am finally in Baton Rouge--my new home. We spent the first few days setting up the internet, visiting relatives, and running errands for my mother. Trying to carve out a little space for myself in a 700 sq ft apartment has been quite a challenge. My mother seems happy to have me here, so that's all that matters at this point.

Here are a few shots I took with my iphone over the last couple days:

Coffee Call - famous for beignets and cafe au lait! YUM 

Bread pudding at Cafe Americain
Topped with pecans, Bailey's Irish Cream, and chocolate rum sauce 

Boudin Balls at The Chimes Restaurant
Pronounced "Boo-dan" but silent on the 'n'
a Cajun specialty consisting of rice, sausage and various spices;
kind of like rice stuffing
My pants are already getting a little snug. :( 

A wallhanging at The Chimes

Double D & me at The Chimes
1/7/12

I've GOT to have one of these! (the tail, not the car)
Baton Rouge is known as Tiger Town, after all.

These were taken today with my 400mm lens at LSU Lakes:

White Pelican

Snowy Egret devouring a perch or brim

Close up

I'll be back with more photos and updates soon. Until then, laissez le bon temp rouler!!

Conquering the Chaos

We have been working on our house nonstop since last Thursday to get it ready for market. I am TIRED. My arm is sore from scrubbing the oven, scrubbing scuff marks off the stairs, and scrubbing blinds. Paint has freckled my hands (permanently, I fear) and a big blob ended up on my favorite jeans. Why did I wear those even after I said to myself "Now don't wear these, you'll get paint on them!"? I'm so mad at myself. No matter how careful I say I'm going to be with paint, it always ends up in places it shouldn't.

Moving on, the curling wallpaper is glued down, windows are washed, the ceiling fan blades are dust-free, and the window sills are painted. A carload of my son's belongings were moved to his dad's storage space, and the smelly dog toys are in the trash. The listing for our house goes "live" tomorrow and I still have 2 more bathrooms to scrub, doors to clean, and more touch-up painting. I'm starting to think we may never get it all done and it is going to have to be okay if we don't. We have three family gatherings to host and church and work, so I'm about to put this thing on cruise control and coast, cher.



I met my favorite girlfriends for dinner last week. When I see their faces I light up because I know we are in for lots of laughs and sharing and dog talk. Friends that allow you to be who you are and accept the less-than-perfect you are rare, and I am so grateful that we are friends, journeying through this life together.

I was presented with a beautiful heart necklace, a book called "Joys of Friendship", and a card that says "Your strength may surprise you". Wow, I totally did not expect any of it. The necklace says "A True Friend Reaches For Your Hand But Touches Your Heart". Awww! I was a bit overcome, I could hardly express myself properly.

I've known these girls since my days at the animal emergency clinic 10 years ago. I was a newcomer to animal medicine, green behind the ears with a weak stomach.  These two girls helped me through countless nights of frantic "parents", dying animals, irresponsible animal owners, smells, vomit, and doctor idiosyncrasies. I honestly don't know if I would have lasted as long as I did without their expertise and guidance.

Even though we no longer work together we continue to have our girls night once a month or whenever our schedules permit. I'm going to miss them so much, for our bonds have grown beyond animal medicine; laughing and crying and sharing personal heartaches. It is not uncommon to have 3 hour dinners and try to solve the world's problems over margaritas, or lately, ice tea. :) Missing them already....

Hope everyone is preparing hearts, minds, and homes to receive the true gifts of the season. Peace and blessings to you all!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Even though I still have 27 days left before I leave my job I packed up my office today, managing to fit all the items neatly into an Office Depot paper box. I sat and stared at that box for quite some time wondering where 23 years had gone. There was the autographed picture of Patrick Rafter that my boss had so generously given to me one Christmas, proud that he had won the bid on eBay; family photos; a ceramic heart my daughter made for me; a Wimbledon teddy bear also from my daughter that she had brought all the way from England; a Norwegian vase from my boss' wife; a wooden cross from Israel. All these treasures will now call another place home.

When I returned to my desk my computer had fallen asleep and was scrolling the words I'LL BE BACK. It seemed wrong to leave it that way, so I changed the marquee to LAISSEZ LE BON TEMPS ROULER! (Let the good times roll!), leaving a little piece of my Cajun personality behind, I suppose.

Other than antsy-ness I am feeling so relaxed about things, concerned that I'm a little too relaxed. This is so unlike me, worrier extraordinaire that I am. I'm also famous (or infamous) for being high-strung, emotional. I feel none of that. What is happening? Can it be that God has answered my prayers for peace and to "know" when the time is right to make a move? Yes, that is my belief and I am sticking with it. So, 'thank you, God'.

I've been looking online at smaller, older homes in my mother's neighborhood. The area is very woodsy and settled and conveniently located to everything we might need. I was happy to see that many homes in our price point have wood or laminate flooring. That is a must-have, especially with three dogs. The lots are much larger than the little postage stamp lots in Dallas. With trees. Lots and lots of trees and tropical plants. I am going to be able to breathe for the first time in a long time and not have neighbors right on top of me.

In other news boy-wonder became part of the Occupy L.A. movement (to my dismay) and is now incarcerated. His phone has been disconnected for a couple of weeks now (for failure to pay, I'm assuming). He did not call me or my parents or his dad with his one phone call. We found his booking information online. I'm not surprised by any of it to be honest. My most recent prayers have been for him to have shelter and food and safety. Well, he has that in jail, so in a way my prayers are being answered.

If I sound rather detached, it's because I am--but only by necessity. I haven't stopped loving him and my heart is heavy, but I have stopped enabling, stopped letting every destructive decision he makes bring me down. It took me a long time to get here, to realize that HE is making these decisions and that I cannot rescue him anymore. At 31 years old it's way past time for him to straighten up and fly right.

A heart can only sustain so many traumas, so many cracks, so many aches, then it starts to toughen up or risk dying. Besides, I have my mother and her needs to think about now. Here she is battling a disease that she did not choose. It's right and fitting to suffer for your own poor choices, but quite the opposite when you are a victim of something you did nothing to bring on yourself. My greatest desire is to make my mom's last years as comfortable as possible. Pouring my efforts into this scenario is much better use of my time and talents. Can I get an amen? :)


P.S. This is Patrick Rafter, former #1 tennis player (be still my heart!).