Will someone please sit down and have a cup of tea with me? I need to vent a little.
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| I'm in fleur de lis heaven here, y'all! |
My mother can be summed up as a gracious, southern lady. Although we look similar, grace is not a trait that I inherited from her. Apparently, it skips a generation because my daughter has an abundance. Oh, I can be gracious on occasion, but most of the time I speak without thinking, usually saying what's on my mind. For a sensitive person like my mother, my bold pronouncements can hurt, even when I don't mean them to.
Yesterday was my seventh day living with her, and I suddenly became acutely aware of the cacophony of the TV. I'm the type of person that can put up with an aggravation for some time, then one day I'll decide that I've had enough and explode.
Having this contraption blaring most of the day and night has frayed my tangled mass of nerves. I'll settle in to sit in front of my computer at the dining room table to do a little work for my boss or catch up on emails, or photography editing, or your lovely blogs—just trying to reconnect with my normal. My "office" is about eight feet from my mother and her beloved television, and in addition to the aggravating sounds of The Price Is Right (sorry Drew Carey, you're awful at this gig), every other minute she'll ask what I'm doing or she'll remember something to tell me, and my concentration gets broken. Each time I stop what I'm doing and look directly at her so she knows I'm listening, answering politely.
Lather, rinse and repeat. Sigh.
Unable to uncork on my mother and at the same time begging God for just a morsel of that elusive grace, my solution yesterday was to mute the television when she went to the bathroom. On her return she asked why the sound was off. In a matter-of-fact way (possibly through gritted teeth), I explained that sometimes it feels nice to have quiet in the house. She replied that having the TV on all the time helped her feel less alone. (I hope she meant pre-me.) After my small act of rebellion, she kept the TV off the rest of the afternoon even though I told her she could turn it back on. When she finally resumed her favorite activity, the volume was kept insanely low, and throughout the evening she asked repeatedly if it was bothering me.
At least I see where my sensitive nature comes from. Big sigh.